|About the Book|
Here is it, the long-awaited digital release of the first ever BABU Guide, written by the estimable and esteemed Charlemagne Goodwriter. At 8,000 words, its triple the size of our standard guides and should take an average reader about 30 minutes toMoreHere is it, the long-awaited digital release of the first ever BABU Guide, written by the estimable and esteemed Charlemagne Goodwriter. At 8,000 words, its triple the size of our standard guides and should take an average reader about 30 minutes to read. A bargain at any price!Look, weve all had to deal with embarrassing boners. Either youre a man trying to conceal them, or youre a woman trying not to stare at them obsessively.Every guy knows to hold a notebook in front of his crotch, or to sit down with his legs crossed. In fact, everyone knows those tricks, even women. If everybody knows what youre doing, then youre not hiding anything, are you? This guide has many, many new and innovative techniques to disguise your tumescence.How many times have you been at the beach but were afraid to play volleyball because you had a boner? Did you try resting your sunglasses on top of your bulge so that it would look like a harmless, comical nose instead of a terribly frightening penis? Thats only one of the tips youll read in this book.Heres another tip: Buy this book. No, thats not a specific tip to hide your boner, but if you buy the book and read it and then follow its advice, youll be hiding boners as efficiently as the standards and practices department of any broadcast television network.But dont just take my word for it. Take all these other peoples words for it too:My mother always told me that men carrying notebooks are probably hiding boners. Well duh! After I was married, my husband revealed to me that he almost constantly has boners, even when he isnt holding a notebook. I asked him how he kept it hidden for so long, and he showed me this book. Its totally changed how I see boners...literally!-Cindy Elliot, housewifeI was always the laughing stock of the china shop where I worked because I was always knocking things over with my boners. I tried masking the incidents by quickly sitting down and crossing my legs but everyone knew what was really going on. Then I read this book and realized I needed to think outside of the box. Now I make ends meet by playing the steel drums in a calypso group. Nobody ever notices a few extra notes here and there!-Yahman Brahman (stage name), professional musicianI had no idea until I read this book that so much in the world revolved around boners, or that the strange stiff thing in my pants has not only a name but also a purpose. I thought I was a freak. Id been letting people take pictures of it for money for years. Now I hide it like I know society needs me to!-Hector Pirkle, now a MinisterWhen I turned 21, if Id had a nickel for every time a boner had been the source of personal humiliation then Id have netted six dollars and seventy cents, enough for a large coffee at my favorite shop. So I was still 21 and working on earning money for my second cup of coffee when I realized that it didnt have to be this way. I didnt have to distract people with my boners in order to steal nickels. I could steal quarters, or even dollars!!! Ive bought dozens of coffees since that day, and other things too. Even this book! Maybe someday Ill read it, though I cant imagine why!-Gil Sphinx, professional exhibitionistSo youre convinced, right? Youre probably getting ready to stand up and reach for your credit card but Oh No! You cant, on account of boners! (If youre a man, everyone will see your boner when you stand up. If youre a woman, youll cause all these boners now, and there might not be any left by the time youve read the book and can better spot them.